Dear Injured me
How are you holding up? I am sure that you are hating it, at least I know that I would hate it. I can’t imagine what not being able to move in the way you want is doing to your mind. You can get through this though, I know you can.
I am writing this letter to say that I will try more to appreciate my healthy, happy, pain-free, beautiful body. I will try to stop taking it for granted. Being healthy is all one can ever ask for.
It’s hard sometimes because I feel like I should look a certain way to be beautiful, and then I start worrying about only that, and then I start hating what I have. Which is silly, right? I'm not always good at this and I am not always grateful but I am going to try to be kinder and realize that health is the goal. I am going to eat well and move well and work hard and have fun. If that doesn't sound fabulous then I don't know what does.
Let's do this.
I love you
From
Amber
Dear Healthy past
It wasn't a bad injury, don't worry. I just cricked my back and it's a bit tight. I'm taking the time to recuperate in bed and chuckling over your letter. Thank-you for the letter by the way, I'm happy reading it. I think your philosophy is a marvelous one. I would hope you didn't take the health for granted and took good care of yourself. I technically did, take it for granted that is, but accidents happen. Anyway, being injured is an even better way to be grateful for health. It's a super visceral way to be grateful for health, in fact. It does help to know that I'll be up and moving in a week though.
I suspect that any future version of us could read these two letters and her mood would be greatly improved. A conversation between the future and the past is a fascinating activity regardless of the content. I also know that as I grow older, gratitude is more and more in the forefront of my thoughts. That is to say, I know that gratitude will be topic that forever has my heart. I'm going to take care of you and me and her, don't worry. Thank-you.
Love you too.
From
Amber
Dear Both of you
This is me from the farther future. I forgot all about this little project and found it in the bottom of my drafts folder. I just want to say that I know both of you and am grateful for both of you. I've starting conducting temporal micro-bridges all over the place. That's a fancy way to say I've been linking different states and versions of me across time using awareness.
It works like this:
Whenever I experience a distinct emotion, I open a bridge to the future saying "This is how I feel - could you understand? This is for me in a week/month/day." Then afterwards I can sort of access that state and bridging it makes me feel connected to myself and my past and future. I feel more empathetic to those states that often feel isolating. Before, it would be so hard for upbeat, motivated me to understand the versions of myself that could barely tidy her room. Now, I understand more. There is less judgement and more warmth. I picture them as bridges and they loop all over my memories now.
I also feel more connected to others, in the same way. I don't think I see people as so solid and consistent any more - there are so many versions of me - surely it's got to be similar for others. We're all just going along and trying to attach to certain versions. It's not the most useful habit. This sort of web helps me realize how quickly things really slide along. Anyway, I loved your letters and I remember who I was when I wrote them. I love you so much.
Thanks
From
Amber
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful….and rather haunting!